AAYP 2017 Youth Ambassadors Scholarship

Madison Li

What does it mean to become a leader? No, really- what does it truly mean to become a leader? Is there even a definite answer? I hate to say this, but there really isn’t one. Everyone eventually grows into their own definition or perception of a leader, like filling shoes that you tell yourself you’ll eventually grow into, or a large shirt that you save in your closet “just in case”. Most interpret the word “leader” in their own way- or try to- but sadly, many people try to fit themselves into a tight corset-like fitting, 6-sided plastic cube definition of a leader. A perfect one, a perfect representation of a stereotype. Ah, stereotype, the all-too familiar word that I think about too often twice a day, the box that I’m expected to fit in, the box that is a straight-A student, excels at everything they do, and is the leader of everything, and instantly, no training wheels or anything. But the utter reality is, most people grow out of their boxes, whatever restriction, crude label, or definition it may be, like vines twisting over scorching vineyard grids. Almost nobody can fit into the plastic one-size-fits-all, oh so demanding definition of a perfect leader, nevermind completely live up to the stereotype. Whether it may be due to past experiences, following others before becoming a leader themselves, or simply being conscious of their surroundings, everyone has the potential to become a leader. And everyone has their own unique story to tell of their journey to become one.

One crucial step that’s hard to admit on the road to becoming a leader is to be a follower first. Some may reel at the thought of this, thinking, “Why would you ever! Always be a leader, never be a follower.” I’ve heard that quote so many times that at this point, it’s ingrained into my head. But as I repeated it over and over in my head, one thing stuck out to me- how can we have a world full of leaders? Would the leaders actually be leaders if no one followed them- if there weren’t any followers? Thus, a key step in becoming a leader is to be open minded and willing to try almost anything as a follower. I joined 20 out of 60 clubs that interested me the most, and have since taken on leadership positions in four out of the eight clubs I am still a part of. I became followers of the upperclassmen that were the leaders then of the clubs. I observed their every move-specifically, how they acted as role models in the face of us followers. One tight-knit diversity club at my school, called East Wind West Wind (EWWW), runs biweekly meetings about current event topics, focusing in specifically on events related to minority groups. The club  leaders strive to introduce various cultures to the school community through multiple events throughout the school year, some of which I am leading. The good experiences I had with the leaders last year inspired me to become one myself this year- not just for this club, but as a voice for the less heard in all aspects.

My personal experiences have also shaped me into becoming the leader I am to this day. Once, when discussing a history essay with my teacher, I was asked hesitantly: “Is your first language English?” I stifled a smirk and said, “Yea actually, it is, but uh, I also can speak Chinese?” The teacher responded, “Oh, that makes sense, because in Chinese they don’t have articles before nouns!”, assuming the reason for my grammatical mistakes was simply because I knew how to speak Chinese; however, the problem was that I did not proofread my paper carefully enough. My initial reaction to this odd conversation was comical disbelief, thinking about how absurd it was that the teacher jumped to that conclusion. After attending a great workshop about implicit bias at our school’s Book Day (the book of focus was Ta Nehisi Coates’ “Between the World and  Me”), I realized that the odd situation that occurred was much more significant than I initially thought. It is dangerous, in a sense, that my teacher connected my mistake to the assumption that Chinese was my first language, because it lumps me into an “Asian American student”  stereotype of our race. I feel that my ethnicity, a part of my identity, was ignored because I was grouped into the broad race of Asians. The feeling I experienced is indescribable; I felt utter despair at the casual stereotype that lay atop my race, so ingrained into society that my teacher was led to that far-reached of a conclusion. I intend to share this encounter with the EWWW club in a meeting on implicit bias, as I think it would be a meaningful conversation. Self-reflections on past experiences like these have helped to shape who I am today and have inspired me to  educate myself about racial problems that other people face in the larger world. After this experience, I was now able to better understand racism on a relevant scale and recognize how it puts me at a disadvantage in a position of leadership. Nevertheless, the awareness of racism has proved to be more beneficial than not, as I can work to bring attention to such issues with my voice.

Like the similarly familiar term “hero”, leaders are developed and formed in all shapes and sizes. Race and a multitude of other factors in my life have shaped my understanding of the
world. Although I am only 15, some of my own personal experiences have allowed me to view parts of my oppressed or stereotyped identity that I have never seen before. Only when we recognize matters like these can we become strong leaders, who speak and inspire using the “I” perspective, which is more impactful than speaking about other people’s experiences. While I am nowhere near close to being the leader that I will be at the end of my life, it is so vital to be able to learn about, understand, and ultimately uncover my true identity on the never-ending path in becoming a leader.