AAYP 2018 Youth Ambassadors Scholarship

Angel Zheng

The first thing I think of when I am asked to tell my immigration history is my desperately trying to assimilate into the new environment I as put into. I was 10 and just wanted to be like everyone else. I was afraid of being left out, so I acted and dressed the same way everyone else would and I knew that I would be ‘normal’

This definition of ‘normal’ has taken a toll on me. Throughout middle school, I was molded into confines of society standards, cutting out every part of creativity and individuality that was left in me. I never spoke of my family and my Asian background, afraid that people will judge me, discriminate me, and even stop talking to me. However, my value have significantly developed since the beginning of high school. Now, I have come to embrace my culture, background, and the quirkiness that people see in me. I learned to express myself through art, putting both my frustrations and passions for my life in the city into what i create.

In my artwork, “Mischievous”, I reflect on a time during which I am on the verge of breaking the conformity. I present myself as the main subject who quietly surveillances her surroundings while the clown sitting on her shoulder represents the inner self. The setting is the classroom. The clock conveys the idea that the image is a freeze frame of my past. The girl tries to balance an apple, representing the struggle of keeping up with others’ standards. The slight smile on her shows that she is ready to break out of her shell and move on and that can be considered mischievous in doing that.